Co-authored by Sybil Ottenstein, MHC-LP and Celine Gonzalez

Couples therapist Sybil Ottenstein talks about how to improve your communication habits and build vulnerability, honesty and trust: Since the 1970s, The Gottman Institute has studied thousands of couples interacting while tracking their relational satisfaction over time. Research into relationships has…

A patient once said at the end of session that he felt like he was going in circles. He was exasperated and couldn’t see the progress he was making because he had seemingly ended up right back at the beginning. Rather than let this comment linger and unfold naturally in the next session, I felt pulled to mark the progress that I could see and was also a part of. I reframed his comment, observing an upward spiral, involving “going in circles” but moving in some direction. The upward spiral became a metaphor in the remainder of our work together. …

Originally posted on POPSUGAR • by Jenny Sugar “Can you deal with me?” It’s been more than 14 years since my husband said those words to me when we first started dating. I now know he was talking about his anxiety. I fell in love with his warm, caring, funny, and joyful personality, but having anxiety can make him the complete opposite. Without any warning at all, he can go from happy and easygoing to irritable, cranky, and mean, complaining and nitpicking things I do or don’t do, and can be quick to get annoyed or angry. It can be absolutely unbearable, …

Losing a loved one through a separation such as a breakup or divorce can feel as devastating as losing someone through death. You will likely feel denial, angst, sadness, loneliness and a whole mix of emotions. Whatever you are feeling, others have likely felt it before. Just as those before you made it through, you can come out on the other side of pain. Here are some suggested steps you can take toward healing: 1. Find forgiveness and meaning. Forgiveness is often an essential part of the healing process, whether it is for yourself or the partner who may have “wronged” you. Everything ends, including …

Growing Private Therapy Practice Expands with 6-Office Suite in the A&D Building NEW YORK – October 23, 2017 – (PR Newswire) – SelfWorks, a leading private psychotherapy group practice founded and led by Dr. Amy Vigliotti, announced today its expansion to new offices located in the A&D Building on 150 East 58th Street. The new space will house a newly renovated 6-office suite on the 21st Floor offering the comfort, privacy and ambience consistent with SelfWorks’ Flatiron practice at 1140 Broadway. SelfWorks will continue treating clients at its Flatiron location and has plans to expand with three new psychologists in …

Understanding the Theory of Attachment Have you ever found yourself repeating the same unhealthy patterns in all of your relationships, each time hoping for different results? If so, you’re not alone. As habit-driven beings, changing certain self-defeating behaviors can seem virtually impossible at times, no matter how hard we try. When it comes to interpersonal relationships, whether it’s dating the “wrong” person (again and again) or engaging in relationship-sabotaging behaviors, this phenomenon can be best understood when looked at through the lens of Attachment Theory. Based on the work of Mary Ainsworth and John Bowlby, the theory posits that we each have certain attachment …

Summer is a great time to get outdoors – re-connecting with the natural environment and rejuvenating your spirit and mind! Simple things like a bike ride, a walk in the park, or a picnic can bring a healthy dose of happiness and serenity. Our intake coordinator and office manager, Teddi Rogers, spends much of her time away from the office in her garden. In her blog below, she shares with us her love of gardening and the ways it has changed her views of her environment. I grew up with a love for plants and flowers. I still feel a …

As popular lyrics and experience tells us, breaking up is hard to do! Even when something is the right decision, it does not mean it is not a loss. Letting go of your significant other (SO) means letting go of an important person in your life, and may mean letting go of shared friends, activities, and places. You are also giving up that wish that it could be better. It is a sad, messy, confusing and heartbreaking time for both of you. That said, there are steps you can take to soften the pain a bit!

Having a community of trusted colleagues gives me pause and brings me a sense of ease and tremendous appreciation. I have been feeling grateful for three talented psychologists who have joined me at SelfWorks. This is the season of thanks, and a little gratitude goes a long way. Typically, though, the workplace is a magnet for negativity. There are the long hours, the office gossip or the deadline approaching that loom in our focus and leave us feeling ungrateful and unsatisfied. The good news is we have the choice and the tools to override this negativity bias. Gratitude is the seed …

By now you have heard about all the good things meditation has to offer – stress reduction, reduced rumination, better memory, focus, emotional stability, relationship satisfaction, cognitive flexibility, self-compassion, and insight. Meditation has been around for centuries but we now have the research to support its ongoing practice! Even so, with all its bells and whistles, maybe you are one of those people that says: I hear good things about meditation, but who has the time? Or maybe you are someone who meditates when you go to yoga class when guided by an instructor. Or perhaps you’ve tried, got frustrated …