Recently, one of my patients asked if I am in my own personal psychotherapy. I’ve heard that question fairly often, however this time I paused for a moment and noticed that I began to ask myself a familiar a set of therapeutic-type-questions: “why is this patient asking me this? What purpose does it serve for the patient’s mind? How should I answer this question and what ramifications will the answer have? Should I answer ‘yes’ or simply ‘why are you asking’”? In this case I did something rather uncharacteristic for me. Instead of turning it back to my patient (which …

Before the sun goes down, forgive. – Hawaiian proverb Last May, I attended a conference here in the city, where a colleague shared a Hawaiian forgiveness practice that she offers to her clients who are incarcerated, the Ho’oponopono ritual. It has a fancy name, but a simple enough application: When you act or speak in a way that you feel is out of alignment with your deepest, truest sense of who you are, just say these four phrases to yourself: I am sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank you. She talked about how, when one of her clients …

Trauma comes in many forms: as illness, bereavement, divorce, infertility, abuse and natural disasters. I have also seen more subtle forms of trauma in people involved in lengthy, intrusive court cases; those feeling threatened with a great personal or professional loss; or for caregivers and healthcare professionals who daily witness the immensity of human suffering. One thing I’ve learned in my years as a psychologist is we all have a tremendous capacity for resilience. Patients, or “Thrivers” as I like to call them, repeatedly astound me with the ways they flourish after terrible life circumstances. Thrivers often endorse a deeper …